Jesus is a Light in Our Winter DarknessMar 01, 2022
The room is dark.
All I can see is one small candle lit straight ahead. It’s peaceful and quiet. I am surrounded by beautiful images and statues lining the walls.
I choose a seat in the front of the room, take off my winter coat, and get comfortable.
There is no one but me here, yet there is a feeling of warmth and love in this space.
I feel like I am home.
I look up. There is a beautiful monstrance in front of me. Looking right at me is Jesus Himself.
I am where I need to be.
A few years ago, I walked into this beautiful, empty, dark, and quiet Adoration Chapel. To this day I remember the experience vividly. I was longing to rekindle my relationship with the Lord after a trying time in my life. Being in that space felt comfortable. I sensed I belonged there. I didn't have to do or say anything while I sat in that quiet chapel; the Lord did all the talking, showing me His faithfulness and love for me. He loves me so much that He was happy that I was there.
Do you ever feel like no one understands what you are going through? Maybe for you it’s long work hours or staying up late rocking the baby to sleep. Maybe you are discerning your vocation or planning a wedding. As you are navigating these major life moments, it can feel very lonely. It sometimes seems very isolating to share what is on your heart, but the person receiving your words doesn't truly understand you because of their lack of experience. This can lead to feelings of abandonment by loved ones and an uncertainty of who to turn to next.
Feeling alone is difficult. I picture Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, surrounded by His friends who fell asleep and did not understand the turmoil Jesus was experiencing. Even though He asked for their support, Jesus was left to pray on His own. Thinking of Jesus’ experience on that night, I am reminded that He understands what I am going through. In those moments of hardship and loneliness, we never truly are alone. God is always with us.
In a time when I felt that no one understood my heart, the Lord was always there. Each time I would visit this chapel, it was just me and Jesus, together. He always showed up and He always listened to me. He accepts me at my worst and best, loving all of my flaws and willing to still pursue my heart even if I feel unworthy. That is what we are all searching for. Someone to accept us fully as we are. Jesus does that. He does not leave us, even in our darkest moments. Even in that dark room, void of other people at that moment, He was still there.
Whenever I feel lonely or that God does not hear my prayers, I think back to those late nights in the Adoration chapel. I remember how cold I was walking in, the smell of incense, the hard wooden pews, and the one dimly lit candle. I immediately felt His presence, a consoling warmth that I am most definitely not alone. It brings me a sense of peace and a smile to my face when I remember those nights because God has never left my side even when I think that has happened.
Winter is a time of a lot of darkness. The days are shorter, and there are more clouds and snow than blue skies and sunshine. It is a season where one feels an increase in loneliness. Maybe it is a song, poem, Bible verse, or book that helps you feel God’s presence in your life. Whatever it is to help you, especially during this time of year, dive into that and know the Father’s heart loves you deeply.
By Mary Mailloux, Spoken Women Team
Photo by Eric Mok on Unsplash
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